


This Is Our Sanctuary (You Are, You Are Safe with Me)

by Huntress8611



Category: Prodigal Son (TV 2019)
Genre: Dissociation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Father-Son Relationship, Fear, Gen, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, between gil and malcolm, not martin and malcolm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-26 13:26:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20930966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Huntress8611/pseuds/Huntress8611
Summary: “I can’t go back there, Gil,” he said, panicked. “I can’t go back to him.”“Hey, it’s okay, I’m not asking you to,” Gil reassured, stepping forward and reaching out to squeeze his shoulders. “I’m sorry for not warning you about this, but I had to be sure.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The title of this work is from the song Sanctuary by Welshy Arms.

“I can’t go back there, Gil,” he said, panicked. “I can’t go back to him.”

“Hey, it’s okay, I’m not asking you to,” Gil reassured, stepping forward and reaching out to squeeze his shoulders. “I’m sorry for not warning you about this, but I had to be sure.”

“Gil…” he said, stumbling backward.

“Be careful,” Gil said softly, gently tugging him towards the middle of the roof, not wanting him to accidentally stumble over the edge.

“I’m sorry, I just…” Malcolm took a stumbling step forward, his forehead ending up on Gil’s shoulder.

The other man wrapped his arms around Malcolm, cradling his head to his shoulder.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“I can’t- I can’t breathe.”

“Yes, you can. You’re going to be alright, Malcolm, I promise. Try and follow my breathing, okay?” he instructed kindly but firmly.

He could feel Malcolm nodding and he heard him manage to take a breath, trying to copy Gil’s breathing like he’d done do many times before.

He gave Malcolm a while to calm down before he spoke up.

“You think you can make it to the car?” he asked softly.

Malcolm nodded and Gill squeezed him tighter for a second before letting go.

“C’mon.”

He gestured for Malcolm to follow him and made his way to the car, managing to dodge everyone who tried to talk to him. He opened the passenger door for Malcolm who climbed in, too tired to argue. Gil got in the driver’s seat and started the car, heading for Malcolm’s apartment.


	2. Chapter 2

“These sketches show the first three methods from The Quartet. My father drew these,” he said, looking up at Gil.

“I know, but how did our killer get them? Your dad’s still locked up at Claremont Psychiatric,” Gil pointed out.

“Well…” Malcolm took a deep breath, willing his hands not to shake, “I’ll ask him.”

“No, I’m not letting you go back there. There’s gotta be another way.”

“There isn’t another way, Gil! You know that! He’ll only talk to me. You really think I want to go back there?” he said, starting to visibly panic.

“Malcolm,” he said, stepping around the desk and squeezing the back of his neck. “Okay.”

Malcolm looked up, surprised, but Gil just led him outside to the parking lot before pulling him into a hug.

“Okay.”

“I really don’t want to go, Gil. I have to, though. Please don’t try to stop me, I don’t know if I’ll be able to talk myself back into it.”

“Okay. Okay, Malcolm.”

He held him for another minute or so before pushing Malcolm back just enough to look him in the eyes and asking, “Would it help if I came with you?”

“I- You don't have to,” he said, not very convincingly.

“I’m coming,” Gil decided, understanding that was Malcolm trying to say something along the lines of  _ God, please do. _

A few hours later, Gil was waiting outside of Dr. Whitly’s room, somehow managing not to nervously pace in front of the door. Malcolm had been in there with his father for nearly half an hour and he was worried.

Malcolm walked out of the room and Gil looked up. Somehow he managed not to stumble or break down until the door was shut, but then he swayed slightly and Gil could see the barely restrained panic in his eyes as he stumbled towards him.

“I- I promised him I’d come back,” he says, falling against Gil, who wraps his arms around him. “I’m sorry- I can’t- Please don’t be angry.”

“I’m not, I’m not mad, kid. Don’t apologize. It’s your choice,” he reassured. Sure he cared about Malcolm more than the man himself did, but he was an adult and it was his decision.

“I- I don’t want to come back, but I do. I don’t understand, I don’t know what to  _ do.” _

“For now you need to take a breath. You’re spiraling and that’s not going to get you anywhere.”

“I just-”

This is what’s going to happen,” Gil said firmly, leaving no room for an argument. “You’re going to take some deep breaths for me. We’re going to walk out of here. I’m going to drive you home. I’m going to come in with you, and then we’re going to talk about this there, where you feel safer.”

Malcolm nodded, managing to take a shuddering breath before taking a step back from Gil. The older man threw an arm over his shoulders and guided him out to the parking lot before helping him into the car.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Malcolm could tell that he was dissociating, but he couldn’t seem to break out of it. He wasn’t quite as scared as he usually was, though. He knew that he was safe, that Gil wouldn’t let anything happen to him.

Everything seemed to blur together until he felt a hand on his arm and flinched, partially coming back to himself. They’d arrived at his apartment and Gil was helping him out of the car. Then they were at the door and then upstairs, and Gil was gently pushing him onto the couch. He pulled dragged a chair in front of the couch and sat down, grabbing both of Malcolm’s hands.

“Malcolm?” he said, rubbing the backs of his hands. “Malcolm, I need you to come back to me.”

He felt him flip his hands over and alternate between lightly rubbing, massaging, and gently running his nails across his hands. The varying sensations help him focus his mind and he could feel himself becoming less and less hazy, along with the return of the spiraling panic that his mind had dissociated from in order to escape.

Malcolm tensed, his breathing beginning to change, and Gil noticed immediately.

“Malcolm,” he said firmly, squeezing his hands. “Malcolm, you’re safe. You don’t need to panic. You just need to breathe for me. Just keep breathing.”

Malcolm nodded, managing to follow Gil’s instructions.

“Good job. Now, what do you want to say?”

“I- he only- I got him to help by- I promised I’d come back. I- I can’t think, I don’t know what to do, Gil,” he said, looking up at him.

Gil could see the fear and panic in his eyes and moved to sit next to him on the couch, wrapping his arms around him. He pulled him towards him and Malcolm didn’t resist, and pretty soon Malcolm was pretty much sitting in his lap with his face tucked into the crook of Gil’s neck. Gil left one arm around his back and used his other hand to squeeze the back of his neck.

“I’ve got you, kid. I’ve got you. You don’t have to figure it out right now.”

He felt Malcolm nod and he gently kissed the top of his head.

“I’ve got you.”


End file.
